Scripts & Scribes – Logline Madness 2015
Drama Bracket
-Round 1-
Judge: Lee Jessup
The following loglines were submitted to Scripts & Scribes as drama scripts and the top five (5) will move on to the next round of judging.
Drama
301 by Douglas Warne (feature) – When a man’s daughter is abducted in the hallway outside their shared apartment, he becomes obsessed with finding the kidnapper who he believes must be one of the building’s twelve eccentric tenants.
Impressions: Interesting. I like the contained element. Seems like it could be a strong character piece with suspense/thriller elements, which is fertile ground for new writers.
FLOATER by Martin Stoelwinder (feature) – An ignorant man unknowingly shows symptoms of agoraphobia. He finds himself all alone with no purpose, when the love of his life travels abroad.
Impressions: “All alone with no purpose” to me speaks to an inactive protagonist, which is a big problem. Additionally, this just doesn’t feel big enough – signs of agoraphobia is different than full-blown agoraphobia. I have you have more of a set up in this logline than the story. I am not sure whether the plot is all about overcoming his malady and going to get his girl.
LOVE, DRUGS & DEATH by Damien Johnson (feature) – After a failed suicide attempt, a repressed, terminally ill high-school senior finds himself embroiled in both a local drug business and his first real relationship.
Impressions: You are telling me situations, not plot. What’s at stake for our guy? What does he want? What is getting in his way? You have a lot of competing ideas here. What is our A-story?
MEN AND WOMEN MERELY PLAYERS by Ellis Christopher (feature) – An abused sister of a school shooter develops a sense of purpose and friendship as her story is brought public by a Congresswoman with ulterior motives.
Impressions: I like this. I would also want to know the consequences of the public exposure, and any unexpected twists. But there is definite cinematic clarity here.
ONE STEP TOWARD ZERO by Kipp Mathews (feature) – After a generation defining kidnapping goes sideways, the lead actress from the hottest film franchise since ‘Harry Potter’ is forced to cope with her meteoric rise to stardom and the man who sabotaged the kidnapping by manipulating her to the point of emotional destruction.
Impressions: This one has a lot going on, and a lot of competing ideas. I would highly recommend find a way to simplify it and at the same time making it more impactful.
SHORE LEAVE by Joseph Woods (feature) – A deserter returns home to get revenge on his best friend who set him up for murder after his high school graduation.
Impressions: While I like it, I would want a stronger connection established between “deserted” and our revenge story. Right now not sure how “deserter” fits in, which makes it perplexing.
THE UNITED DIVIDE by Holt Hunziker (TV) – At the height of the U.S.’s 2nd Civil War the President enacts the Sherman Plan in a bloody last ditch effort to keep the U.S. as a united government.
Impressions: As one who is not familiar with The Sherman Plan and its consequences, I don’t have enough information here. This would be key for a better understanding of whether there are 5 seasons here on not.
WAITING FOR EVER AFTER by April Austin (TV) – An one hour anthology dramedy series that goes against a variety of romantic comedy clichés, including the best friend pact, “the one”, just friends, career girl, the sidekick and the damsel in distress, by exploring different character relationships as they try to get to the happy part and have a tough time figuring out when their ever after begins.
Impressions: In general I like it BUT anthology series are a tough sell, AND it’s hard for me to envision what you’re seeing here.
TOP 5 – Drama
- 301
- MEN AND WOMEN MERELY PLAYERS
- WAITING FOR EVER AFTER
- THE UNITED DIVIDE
- SHORE LEAVE
The top five (5) Drama loglines move on to the next round for judging.
Thank you to all who participated and congratulations to those moving on.
Next up: Comedy – Round 2
Previous results – Round 1: Comedy, Horror/Thriller/Mystery, Action/Adventure/Sci-Fi/Fantasy/War
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